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DoNotWant: Twilight Fangirls.

December 19, 2008

So, you may have noticed that I seem to be on a bit of an environmentalist kick. Which is utterly fascinating for me, but probably not that interesting for you. So I decided to come back to your regularly scheduled random topic.

The point of discussion for today is a huge risk to intellectuals everywhere: Twilight fangirls.

Believe it or not, people who do not enjoy the book Twilight have been attacked by its fangirls – on more than one occasion. Ranging from a simple verbal assault to being stabbed in the eye, honest intellectuals are at serious risk from these individuals.

What the blazes persuades these girls to act this way? I honestly couldn’t say. Maybe they’re PMSing, or maybe they’re just jerks. Maybe the only people who like Twilight are complete idiot craptards, just the sort of people who are likely to think that it’s acceptable to assault someone based on their literary tastes. Or maybe there’s some kind of subliminal programming in the books, forcing readers to join the Squealing Cult of Stephenie Meyer Fans.

Either way, if you or anyone you know is an anti-Twilighter, know that extreme caution must be exercised when dealing with these individuals. And if you are a Twilight fan who has recently assaulted someone for their failure to appreciate your taste in literature, you owe them one devil of an apology.

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