Fun Facts About Bisexuality

May 30, 2009

There seem to be a lot of mistruths going around about bisexuals lately.  Stuff like “they’re just confused”, “they’re doing it for the attention”, “they’re so starved for sex that they’ll do it with anyone”.  Complete mistruths.  So I thought I’d take a few moments to clear up some of these myths.

Myth: There is no such thing as a bisexual; people are either gay or straight/Bisexuals are just gay or straight people who haven’t figured it out.

Or: Bisexuals are always equally attracted to both sexes.

Truth: Although it was once thought that a person’s sexual orientation could only be one thing (straight) or two (gay or straight), this has since been proven faulty.  In fact, sexual orientation is a relatively flexible thing, and can fall into any of the following five positions:

  1. Attracted only to opposite sex (straight).
  2. Attracted to both sexes, but more attracted to opposite sex (straight-inclined bisexual).
  3. Equally attracted to both sexes(bisexual.)
  4. Attracted to both sexes, but more attracted to same sex (gay-inclined bisexual).
  5. Attracted only to same sex (gay).

1 is believed to be the most prevalant position, but sexual orientation can – and does – range widely between individuals.

Myth: Bisexuals are sex maniacs.  They are so starved for intimacy that they will date/screw anyone.

Truth: Just like straight and gay people, bisexuals have standards, and they are not afraid to use them.  We will date/screw based on a wide range of factors, such as physical attractiveness, personality, and relationship status.  Some of us have even decided, all on our own, to remain virgins until we are married.

Myth: You have to be careful when dating a bisexual.  You never know when he/she will cheat on you with the other sex/Bisexuals require sexual stimulation from both sexes, simultaneously or in turn.

Truth: Bisexuals are no more likely to cheat on you than a gay or straight person.  Some of us are rampaging chauvanists, but many of us are not.  And while we may date people of both sexes, we are fully capable of committing to someone of either.

Myth: Bisexuals are trying to reduce your dating pool.

Truth: Bisexuals have just as much right to date members of your sexual orientation as you do, assuming that they choose to do so.  Not all of them will; some bisexuals are quite contented dating members of only one sex, and even if they aren’t, they are no likelier to rob you of your soul mate than your straight or gay competitors.  In fact, bisexuals actually serve to widen the dating pool – both straight and gay.

Myth: Bisexuality (or homosexuality) is only about sex – there is no emotional attraction.

Truth: Every human is capable of forming strong emotional bonds with either sex, regardless of orientation.  The only thing that determines who you learn to love is whether the two of you are emotionally compatible.  Aside from availability issues, it is no more difficult for a gay, lesbian, or bisexual to fall in love – with a person of either sex – than it is for a straight person.

Myth: Bisexuals are perverts/hedonistic/just plain loose.

Truth: Only in the movies.

Now for some Q&A.

Q: How do you know you’re bisexual?

A: I’ll admit, it isn’t quite as simple as knowing that you’re gay or straight.  Most people assume that they are one or another, but come to realize that they are attracted to people who fit outside their scope.  For me, it was when my list of “the only women I am attracted to” rose above three.

Q: Do you like the same things in men and women?

A: Not necessarily.  For instance, I like guys with beards, but I think they’d look silly on women.  Red hair, on the other hand, looks best on a female.  In general, men can be a lot more masculine before they cease to be attractive to me.

Q: What’s the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?

A: Bisexuality is a term meaning that you are attracted to both sexes – meaning that you note a difference between them, but find them both stimulating.  Pansexuality is a state in which you are attracted to people in general, whether they be male, female, transgender, androgynous, or somewhere in between; you may or may not identify people as belonging certain genders.  Defined in such a manner, many people who identify themselves as bisexual would likely qualify as pansexual – going by this definition, I would end up calling myself straight-bisexual with pansexual leanings.  The lesson: Don’t get bogged down with terminology, just use whatever sounds right for you.


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