Archive for the ‘Lulz’ Category


DoNotWant: Greenpeace.

March 19, 2009

It has come to my attention that there are a lot of… shall we say, pseudo-Americans – lurking under our collective American roof.  They march under a wide variety of colors – socialists, humanists, Democrats… atheists. These people presume to call themselves American when they clearly march against the basic principles on which our country was founded.

I would like to add another group of unpatriots to that list: Greenpeace members.

You remember Greenpeace, right?  That weird little organization that stole two years of your kid’s life so she could go build pop-bottle huts in Guatemala?  Yeah, those guys.  I’ve been taking a look at what they do, and it’s apalling.  I mean, George Washington is turning in his grave over this.

But what exactly are they doing?  I hear you ask.

Besides being environmentalists (the first sign of unAmericanism), I’ve also discovered a disgusting level of generosity – raw, unadulterated charity – lurking within their ranks.  I am referring to their outreach programs.  These people go into suffering countries, and what do they do?  They give them help.  Not sell them help.  Not loan them help.  They just give them help.

Whatever happened to “ask not what you can do for other countries, but what other countries can do for your country?”  What happened to plain, old-fashioned corporatocracy?  These people are violating the great commercialist principles on which this country was founded, and it has to stop.  We cannot allow these people to keep giving resources to countries in need when there are still countries that do not owe us money.

It is up to us, as American citizens, to make a stand and make sure that money gets back where it belongs – in the pockets of our government officials and gasoline tycoons.